February 26th, 2010 by barefoottess

The entries were plentiful and awesome.  Everyone did an amazing job.  Here are the top 5:

4th Runner Up: Lynette

Ode to Caramel

(Caramel Heel by Something Bleu)

My sweet Baby Ruth–

You’re my Snickers-doodle and golden Butterfinger

I don’t want you for your millions

I’d pay 100 Grand on Pay Day,

Which is how you make me feel.

Ever time I slip you on, I feel like a Fireball

My Chicklet,

You’re only One Musketeer…

but that’s probably good–

I couldn’t choose which to wear if there were three pair!

You are a Jolly Rancher at the holiday party

Far from a Milk Dud,

You’ve Twixed me into falling for you, Blue.

I feel like I’m on Cracker, Jack, when I’m wearing you!

My comfy Gummi Bear–

It’s more than your Nutrageous glow,

but also your Nerdy devotion to making me

Watchamacallit,

that dance move that makes me go MM&MM

I’d give you Hersey Kisses all day long–

Just ask and I’ll Kit Kat and Crunch with you

Any morning, day or night

down any sidewalk, runway or still pose you choose.

I melt like Sweet Taffy each time I put you on.

I’m a Tootsie in a Roll!

You Rolo me to the Milky Way!

My scrumptious Goober–

You’re a golden Starburst in the dark,

Even if I choose another Whopper of a shoe,

I know you’d be at Warheads with it–

You’re the one I want to keep.

You’re no Runt in the closet!

You Dot my days with secret smiles,

Like Jelly on Beans.

My Long Lasting Gobstopper–

I’d Fun Dip up Fifth Avenue with you anytime!

You make me dance like a Raisinet.

I feel safe popping Bottle Caps with you,
Which says a lot, my Sweet Tart–

I don’t put my feet in just any old Mary Janes.

You, my Sugar Daddy, make me Twizzle, Razzle and dazzle!

And that drives me Skittles!

3rd Runner Up: Jo C.

Just to think that a boot could ever touch me where every other has neglected- my knee.  Beautiful boots that may finally give my feet the chance to look, dare I say it- delicate.  All the other boots hate my plump calves, they shrug themselves down against my skin.  But these boots will envelope every inch of my long legs and kiss the back of my knees with soft luxury, nuzzling them reassuringly.  I never knew the day would come that I could relish in the deliciousness that is an over the knee boot!  They call out to me- these saucy boots. I dream about them all day and night.  I visit them at least twice a day online.  My husband would go crazy to know I’m willing to cheat on our savings account for these Corso Como’s.  I have been in love with the Corso Como Duluth Boots since I first saw them on Barefoottess.com.  They are the most graceful flat boots I’ve ever seen.  It’s a love unrequited, they don’t even know my name.  When will they realize they belong with me, on my feet, in my closet.  I would care for them more than I’ve never cared for another.  No other boot has ever made me feel this way.  I await the day my dream comes true, when I open the door, and find them waiting for me.

2nd Runner Up: Madeline

There are so many shoes that I desire, however there can be only one (pair that is)! I choose you, Corso Como ‘Carro’ to cradle my size 13 feet. I feel that is it destiny that only size 13 is left, it seems that we are meant for each other. I imagine that Carro will lift me up 1 3/4″ to make me a stunning 6 feet tall, so that I can stand eye-to-eye with my boyfriend and say, “Who’s the boss now? It’s your turn to the dishes!” Only soon thereafter to give him a wink and say, “I love you!” giving up that power. Alas, I will have to perform a seductive and dangerous dance wearing these shoes, which might look something like the attached photo, only wearing Corso Como ‘Carro’ shoes, which would make this dance much more effective.

So as you can see, the Corso Como ‘Carro’ shoes in black, size 13, are needed- its a ” you complete me” type of situation, but without Tom Cruise. I can’t get things done around here, I need my spare part, the shoes that I love to make me whole again.

1st Runner Up: Halie

Pst “Leigh“!  Come here, Beautiful.  Let me take a closer look at you.

God, you are even prettier in person than on your internet profile.  Do you know that?  Awe, don’t look so embarrassed.  It’s ok.  A lot of people putting up profiles on the internet these days!  How else, could two busy sole’s like us meet?

Listen, I’m  gonna need you to keep this thing  between us, on the down low.  You see, I gotta another girl, “Holly“, she’s on the same site.  No, not it’s not like that!  She is great, really great!   She’s cute, reliable and when I’m with her things are just comfortable, ya know?  I mean her no disrespect.  She and I, we’ve done a lot together.  Truthfully she’s a little worn around the edges.  And I have needs!  Needs she can’t always meet.  But a girl like you, you are in a different “leigh” altogether.

Sorry, sorry!  No more terrible jokes.  I know this thing between us is no laughing matter.  Leigh, don’t think I don’t respect you.  I do.  I know  you come from a fancy tradition.  I know a girl like you has expectations.  And I got a better job these days, I’m making more money, I can take you to nice places.  Leigh, you deserve to go to nice places!!!

I know this great little French place.  I bet you’d look great there.  Even if we squeezed into a booth, there’d you be, twinkling and catching the candlelight.  No matter how I tried to keep you to myself, everyone would notice you.  It’s impossible not to.

So wadda ya say, Leigh?  You gonna give me a chance?  I think this could be the start of a beautiful life together.

And who knows?   I think you and Holly could really get along.

WINNER OF THE ALL BLACK JAPANESE BOOTIE: REGINA

Legend has it that there was once a renegade Geisha who lived during the ‘Tess’ dynasty two thousand centuries before time’s conception.  This is her story…

Winding, binding, white bandages crushing bone, suffocating skin,
Feet contorted and stifled.
tiny feet, tiny footsteps,
Enter the Geisha, Mistress Renegade…

There is a man with no name who comes to her village with a smile to greet the gatekeeper.  His forearms are rippled with muscles that only Buddha can replicate (no offense to the Buddhist…).  In those arms he cradles small, wrapped packages from exotic places in far off lands.  The gatekeeper signs the strong man’s tablet and the strong man walks away, mounts his regal, brown steed and rides off beyond the cherry blossom groves while I hide, unnoticed.

All evening I think about what must be in those small wrapped packages.  Tiptoeing from my door on tiny feet in wooden shoes, I sneak into the place where the small packages are stored.  Quietly tearing open the wrapping and then the boxes, and then the boxes within the boxes, I discover nothing new; the same wooden shoe, and I cry in disappointment.  Startled I hear a shuffle outside of the window and think to myself that I am surely caught, and I am.  I am caught by the sexy, strong, Package Man.

The man walks through the door and comforts me and tells me the story of how he sees me  peeking through the bamboo bush watching, wanting, waiting.  He says that he saved a special delivery just for me and asks to close my eyes, hold out my hands, and grab onto the package.  I comply but am surprised when I feel a four-sided box…not the ”package” I had in mind.  The Package Man sits in front of me while I open the box.  He takes out a box cutter and carefully cuts through the binding on my feet.  Meanwhile, I open the mysterious box and the smell of high quality leather fills the space between us.  Inside this box is a shoe that I could not have dreamed of.  I pull the soft, grey, suede bootie from its cradle and look at him, perplexed.  This is a size 11, I could never fit this.  What I didn’t realize was that while the Package Man was massaging my contorted feet, they had unfurled several inches.  That night I discovered freedom.  This beautiful suede beauty bootie became a sensual lover to my once tiny toes and the Package Man, a smokin’ hot, lust-beast!

He slipped the booties onto my feet, threw me over his shoulder (damn that an ass!) and launched me onto the back of his noble, brown steed.  I ask him to pause a minute so that I can flip the back of bootie to expose the golden “spurs” for our ride into the moonlight.  At that moment, I also proceed to remove the cumber bund thing from around my waist, pull those damn chopsticks from my hair, and free myself of the multiple garments that were once my armor.  I am naked, I am free, I am Japanese from head to toes.

February 25th, 2010 by barefoottess

Location: Kalamazoo, MI

Announcing the Grand Opening of

I’m always down to alert you guys of a hot new shopping spot.  This cool niche shop (and it is a very cool niche if I may say so myself) carries both men’s and women’s shoes in extended sizes.  The best women’s shoes they carry are, of course, from Barefoot Tess.  I wanted to give them a shout out and wish them good luck from one large size shoe store to another.  Their grand opening is tomorrow and promises to be tons of fun.

Stop By:

December 21st, 2009 by barefoottess

Everyone and her sister has a blog about fashion, style, clothes, and the like.  Tons of them are bad, lots of them are good, but this one is the most creative I’ve ever seen: The Uniform Project

The Idea

“Starting May 2009, I have pledged to wear one dress for one year as an exercise in sustainable fashion. Here’s how it works: There are 7 identical dresses, one for each day of the week. Every day I will reinvent the dress with layers, accessories and all kinds of accouterments, the majority of which will be vintage, hand-made, or hand-me-down goodies. Think of it as wearing a daily uniform with enough creative license to make it look like I just crawled out of the Marquis de Sade’s boudoir.

The Uniform Project is also a year-long fundraiser for the Akanksha Foundation, a grassroots movement that is revolutionizing education in India. At the end of the year, all contributions will go toward Akanksha’s School Project to fund uniforms and other educational expenses for children living in Indian slums.”

-Blogger Sheena Matheiken

December 9th, 2009 by The Barefoot Blogger: Laura Kleinbaum

Your Parent’s Holiday Party: Your mom really wants you to come and your dad will say something encouraging like, “Mom really wants you to come.” So you’ll make the trip home and expect your parents dorky college friends and stuffy work friends and friends of the family. Make no mistake. This does not, by any means, give you free reign call it in on your holiday party look. You have no idea who could be at this party. You might find it uncool to drink hot mulled cider and break into numbered groups to sing “The 12 Days of Christmas” around the piano, but anyone could be here—someone with a great job connection, your high school nemesis whose parents just moved into the neighborhood, a boy you used to have no interest in turned hot, successful man with a scruffy beard and an M.D.

In terms of your look, this is your parents’ house after all, so you don’t have to get decked. Strive for casual elegance. Try a graceful silk blouse under a blazer, paired with dark skinny jeans and a structured boot. This look is clean and current and beautifully feminine with a slight yet sexy masculine influence. Get ready to order a letterhead that starts with “Dr. and Mrs.”

Hot Party Tip: Watch out! Hot mulled cider is stronger than you think. If you find that suddenly your singing ability is much improved from what it’s been your entire life, it’s time to put down your mug and hand over the ‘Five Golden Rings’ part to your Aunt and Uncle.

(The Shoe: The Corso Como ‘San Jose’ ($219))

December 8th, 2009 by The Barefoot Blogger: Laura Kleinbaum

Your Neighbor’s Hanukkah Pot Luck: The first hour of this little get-together has the power to deceive you– it’s going to start out tame with the consumption of latkes and small talk about what you’re doing for the holidays, and maybe what you’re doing with your life.  But don’t be fooled.  By hour two everyone will be marveling at how much wine has been consumed by such a small group.  Pretty soon you’ll be flirting with the eligible bachelors, the menorah candles will have burned down completely, and the early-evening social gathering will have transitioned into a rollicking late-night soiree with additional mystery crashers from the building and dancing on the coffee table.

As a result of the ‘two parties in one’ nature of the evening, you’ll need something fun and flirty that can transition from Act I to Act II. No jeans. Try a sassy mini and tights paired with a plain tee to tone it down.  The ideal shoes, in keeping with the outfit and the evening, would have two contrasting elements one tame and one wild.

(The Shoe: The FS/NY ‘Adorn’ (Black leather studded with crystals), $239)

December 4th, 2009 by The Barefoot Blogger: Laura Kleinbaum

Friday is here and we’re checking out celeb style like usual.  This week though, there’s a twist.  All of these photos were taken at the airport and all of these fashionistas are wearing black boots.  See which black boot each celeb has picked as her wardrobe staple.  You know how meticulously we pick out our travel outfits, so they must love these boots!

Rihanna

The J. Shoes ‘Bridle’

Heidi Montag

The Delman ‘Aden’

Ashlee Simpson

The Manitobah ‘Buffalo Dancer’

Ashley Greene

The Delman ‘Darcy’

Kate Hudson

The All Black ‘Long’

October 1st, 2009 by barefoottess

This just in! In news categories raging from what the??, to pure, unadulterated hilarity, to stunned disbelief, to reports of hell actually developing a distinct chill and threatening to freeze over any minute, Bob Dylan, yes Bob Dylan, one-time–well one time reliable non-maker of Christmas albums–has gone and made, yes, a Christmas album. Sorry, blew the surprise there. But honest to God, he’s done it. It’s called Christmas in the Heart and tracks include Here Comes Santa Claus and Winter Wonderland.

Now perhaps he’s just being advanced, but looking at the cover…

makes us think this might be the craziest thing he’s ever done.

Or it’s up there at least.

In related news, we’re selling our BFT ‘Doll’ Flats for under 40 bucks…

September 30th, 2009 by barefoottess

Oprah’s shoe size?

10.5!

And Kate Winslet’s?

11!

 Lisa Leslie’s shoe size?

13!

And Tila Tequila’s?

TINY!!!!

September 29th, 2009 by barefoottess

What. The hell…

Is this???

Apparently, the models on the runway at the Prada show in Milan last week were outfitted (as seen above) with werewolf-like toenail extensions.

Which could possibly account for all the runway spillage we’ve been seeing this season. With all that front-end overhang it seems inevitable that there’d be at least a few incidents like this.

So until we all get the hang of it, freakish nail-extensions or no, let’s all make sure to have a pair of nice flats around, just in case, like these ‘Waffle’ flats, from FS/NY…

September 28th, 2009 by barefoottess

A fairly zealous rabbi over in Lithuania has decided to ban–that’s right, ban!–Crocs–that’s right, Crocs!–from his synogogue during the Yom Kippur holiday,  which ends at dusk tonight.

You see, on Yom Kippur, you’re not supposed to wear leather shoes. So these babies…

…have become du rigueur.

But then some genius Rabbi in Vilnus decided to put a stop to all the madness! And you know what? We’re behind him 100%.

So if, for any reason at all, you’re out there searching for a pair of cow-free kicks, look no further–we’ve got what you’re looking for…

And if you still don’t see anything you like, well then you can always go barefoot…