January 28th, 2010 by The Barefoot Blogger: Laura Kleinbaum
I don’t think I’m alone here, but I do think most people are afraid to admit it. I hate being a houseguest. I don’t mean crashing on my friend’s couch with my shoes on, slipping out early, and leaving an endearing thank you note scribbled on an old receipt. I mean spending three days and two nights in the guestroom with towels specifically for me and my belongings confined to a leather weekend bag.
As much as they insist you may come and go as you please, you are still at your hosts’ mercy. They’re aware that you just want to watch TV alone. They’re keeping track of when you use the bathroom and how long it takes, especially when you get up at 3am to pee. And then there’s their most egregious offense: they are in change of the thermostat.
The reason this offense takes the cake is because no matter how nice and hospitable they are, leaving mints on your pillow or serving gluten-free pasta just for you, there’s no possible way you could be comfortable if you’re too hot or too cold.
In terms of the hot, the best you can do, short of stripping down to your underwear and panting dramatically while splayed across the couch, is make underhanded comments:
“Do you mind if I help myself to some ice water? For some reason I feel flushed and a bit faint.”
“Excuse me for a second while I go get some Tylenol. I think I’m running a fever. Want to feel how hot I am?”
“Woo! I think I just had a hot flash. Is 23 too young for uh…oh, never mind.”
With the cold, you can make the comments more tactfully:
“Oo, is that a working fireplace? I love a working fireplace. That’s such a beautiful fireplace!”
“Do you mind if I wrap myself in this decorative throw?”
“I brought this hot cocoa as a hostess gift! Shall I make it for you?”
The cold has one very useful advantage. You can always add a layer. I visited a very cold house recently, a house where the family took their shoes off at the door. I learned a life lesson that weekend. If you’re visiting someone’s home for a winter weekend, BRING CUTE SLIPPERS. They would have made all the difference.
The Slippers: (left to right) Mocs Fringe Slipper, $79; Relknit Monkey Slipper, $29; Mocs Suede Slipper, $69
Blog Reader Exclusive: Use code ‘SLIP’ for 20% off all slippers.