October 27th, 2009 by The Barefoot Blogger: Laura Kleinbaum

Give me something good to eat. If you don’t, I won’t care. I’ll pull down your underwear.”  Ah, the song that never gets old when you’re between the ages of 5 and 12.  I imagine when an adult hears it ringing from the pack of children traversing the sidewalk out front, they think, “I wonder if those are the kids that T.P.ed my front lawn and egged the garage door.”  So maybe Halloween isn’t so fun for the homeowner set.  I loved it as a kid, the party in homeroom, the peeled grape witch’s eyeballs, the fun size Snickers.

Here are the top 5 Reasons that Halloween is Awesome

5.    I grew up a few doors down from a couple, empty-nesters, who had the best trick-or-treating house in the neighborhood.  They played a cassette of scary noises and invited us in for cinnamon sugar doughnuts, apple cider and apple bobbing in their foyer.  Reason number 5 that Halloween is awesome: Those people. (Update: A few years ago, some jerk in our neighborhood complained that bobbing for apples wasn’t sanitary and poor Mr. and Mrs. Empty Nest had to close up shop.  Dear Jerk, You’re the worst.)

4.    The Candy: Halloween is the one day of the year that you are allowed, nay expected, to consume candy for the entirety of the day.  (Shout-out to Valentine’s Day for the candy as well.)

3.    The decorations: Sure, Christmas decorations spread cheer and joy like Swine Flu in a state-school dorm, but Halloween decorations are just SO MUCH FUN.  The battery-operated ghost that you hang above your doorway so it shakes and boos when you walk under it: spooky.  That doormat with a haunted house on it that screams and cackles when you step on it: scary.  That fake spider’s webbing that sticks to your clothes and the carpet and your dogs paws: Well, it looks cool when you first put it up.

2.    The parties:  There’s so much to look forward to when going to a Halloween party.  Your long-fated lover could be walking around in a mask all night, which he or she will remove at the party’s end, then kiss you and say, “It was always you.”  (Well, now we know what I’m hoping for on Saturday night.)  There’s also witch’s brew to drink (essentially green Jungle Juice.)  There’s the hope of winning the costume contest.  The hostess will have baked cupcakes with orange frosting and “Thriller” will come on at least three times.  You’re also going to get some of that spider web stuck in your wig, but you’ll pick it out semi-successfully and have another cup of witches brew.

5.    The Costumes!  You can be anyone you want.  You can be sexy.  You can be clever.  You can be scary. And you can most definitely be offensive.  Remember, it’s never “too soon.”  SO, rummage through your closet (and your grandma’s,) scour the racks at the Salvation Army, or Party City, or Home Depot, depending on what you’re planning to be, and win the contest!

A lot of people have told me they didn’t know what to be this year, so I’m going to give you a few ideas.

Ideas: Eloise, Amelia Bedelia, Carmen San Diego, Daria, Margot Tenenbaum, Lady GaGa, Freida Khalo, Jane Goodall, Amelia Earhart, Mrs. Smith, Betty Draper, Elizabeth Bennet, Annie

I’d like to hear your ideas as well.  What are you going to be for Halloween?